Been a while….

It’s been while since I posted. I had such great plans for writing in this blog. I tried to carve a little time each day to write about something. Then everything changed. I considered myself a failure and slipped into a depression. It’s not the first time.

After a few months of trying to let go and move forward, I got back on my feet. With the new year, I have decided to simplify my life to lessen the possibility of things going wrong and try to be a happier person.

2017, wow, seems unbelievable. I have a fondness for the 1980’s and 90’s. 17 is just a weird number to me.  Always seemed odd, a prime number, but not the only one. Each 17th of the month was awkward to write, but I have a full year to get used to it.

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A voyage of the mind

When I look at a landscape such as in the photo, I am in awe at just how big this world is. And my mind wonders about all the things happening way out there that we cannot see. This is a voyage of my mind.

The photo shows a beach of some sort with mountains in the background. Who knows how many miles we are looking at here.There could be thriving cities among those mountains, with communities of people working and playing. Children growing up and elderly ones passing on.

There could be governments and societal systems forming and molding what that place means to its inhabitants. Good or bad. Farms and industrial areas nourishing and providing for the populous. Merchant trade, laws of conduct, etc.

It could be so different that what we experience or know to be in our own lives and travels. Or it could be nothing at all. Just dirt and rocks.

And that’s only what I can imagine above the ground.

What do you think is happening under the water or sand? How many thousands of creatures are living and surviving the only way they know how just below our feet everyday?  This is where my mind goes when I go to the beach.

Point of no return

A mom, a fellow blogger, wrote about her excitement about an upcoming triathlon. She was on the fence as to whether she could actually do it and mustered up the courage to go ahead and sign up.

That’s a defining point right there, because now you have to do it. There isn’t really any going back. I can totally relate to her blog post. Once you’re in, you’re in.  At this point of no return, you stand to lose something if you back out. Whether it’s money or the adoration of a child, you just don’t want to give it up because of fear.

The blogger is an inspiration to her readers, her daughter that she mentions and many others alike. She has encouraged me to jump that first hurdle.  I wish her all the best with the triathlon!

 

This one’s for you, Donna!

My inappropriate friend,

I’m at work today, because you asked me to. I am at the bottom of your call list, so when you ran out of people to call to fill in, you called me. I don’t mind. The job is easy enough, I know because I did it for two years before I met you. I think I actually trained you.

It’s funny how we switched jobs from where you were before we met. But it works because we ask each other questions that no one else knows the answers to. Like how have we handled this kind of customer situation in the past and what does the boss mean when he asks about the ‘thing for the guy’.

We got into some trouble when we shared an office, the neighboring spaces didn’t think we got any work done at all with all the laughter and such. For seemingly unrelated reasons, we were separated and I always found a reason to come see you even if you were two floors down. Now we are in buildings 5 miles apart and talk only about once a week.

We’ve been friends for a year and you’ve helped me and been there for me.  I enjoy going to the local Mexican restaurant to vent about our jobs or our men by eating chips and ranch dressing. Sometimes we even drink. Remember when we went shopping for Christmas decorations after dinner? That was fun!

You remind me what it’s like to have a social life. I needed that.  I know I help you by teaching you tips and tricks on the computer and smartphone because you say you are not ‘computery’.

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I hope I didn’t offend you when I said I would dress up as you for Halloween by showing cleavage and asking strangers inappropriate sexual questions. I thought those were things you already knew about yourself.

I am looking forward to floating on the lake this summer, a tradition we barely got started last fall when you got the beach house. My schedule is more predictable now so it is going to happen for sure.

You may never get to read this letter, but I hope I am able to express my appreciation for knowing you and calling you my friend.

– A workaholic nerd with no other friends

From corn fields comes inspiration

Growing up in the Midwest,  I have seen my share of corn fields. Although, I was not raised on a farm or working in the fields, we did pass fields traveling from small town to small town visiting family and friends throughout the summers.

‘Knee high by 4th of July’ was a phrase used to measure how well the corn was doing that year. If it was knee high, the fields were doing well. If not, then they knew not to expect a decent harvest. Or so I heard. The phrase rattles in my head every time I pass a corn field in the summertime, and almost as instinct, I immediately scramble for the date and make a quick determination of how the corn is doing.

I often think about how we use old phrases these days and we don’t always know what they mean or where they came from. We could simply look them up on Google and get a quick answer, say ‘oh that’s cool, and forget it within minutes. But I like to think about these seemingly meaningless things and I often come to some kind of revelation. I amaze myself with these newly found bits of wisdom, but had not found how to communicate them effectively.

I am using this blog to express my thoughts, ideas, wonderings and such. Inspired by my surroundings,the happenings of my work and home life, my family and friends, I hope to write about my own wonderment and long-thought conclusions. The corn fields in my region are but one example of how my mind grabs a spark of something and runs with it. So I thought it appropriate when I passed by a field at the time I was naming this blog.

That one person

Voyager of freedom

Nothing beats finding that one person that you just feel comfortable enough to not have to say anything around. That one person you never have to explain yourself to, that one individual that can travel down the rabbit hole of what it is to be you, and yet they never fear what they will find in you. That one person that feels your heartbeat from a foot away & knows what you need before you even know you need it.

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I want to be a writer

The title says it all. I want to be a writer. This is the total opposite of how I felt about writing in high school. I cannot recall ever turning in any writing assignment in high school. At all. Not one. Then I learned something in a my first college course that made want to write more. I don’t know what that thing was, but it must have been something. Something important.

It may have been the mechanics or the spelling, grammar, punctuation or the formatting. Putting something together and making it flow was fun, for the first time. I enjoyed writing in college, to a point. But when it was time to write on my own without any direction, I got stumped.

‘What do you mean? Just write? How?’

In my business work, I found my writing to have become technical, focusing on every word, phrase, the overall tone trying to achieve the exact objective. I couldn’t just throw something together in a few minutes. It has to be perfect, wrapped up in a neat little bow. Table of Contents, bullet points for clarity, etc. All the parts of speech had to be perfectly aligned. Anything less was sloppy.

I have systematized myself and my writing right into a corner. So I am trying to get back to that free writing without a clear defined endpoint. Just write and see what happens. To write my thoughts on various things, ideas and epiphanies I may have had while driving or showering, is my goal for writing this blog. To be a better writer.